Time Heals

[abbymickey24]

All I can say is please don't hate me


Title: Time Heals
Author: abbymickey24
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Bella, Jasper


Chapter 1
JPOV

   You know the saying ‘time heals all wounds,’ well whoever said it never met Bella Swan.
    Three years, that’s how long it has been. Three years since everything fell apart. Three years since that horrible birthday party. The birthday party that changed everything. The day I tried to kill her.
   I thought back over those three years as I watched Bella through the bookstore window where she worked.
   

   We had all been excited, laughing as we watched Alice bounce around getting things ready. Bella and Edward coming in, him excited and her, not so much. I could feel she didn’t want to be there, but she also didn’t want to hurt Alice’s feelings. Alice giving her the present me, Emmett and Rosalie had got for her. I had drifted closer as she opened up Alice and Edward’s present, when it happened.
That one little drop of blood that had put me into a frenzy. Edward throwing her back into glass plates that cut her arm open. Emmett and Rose wrestling me outside, as I continued to try to get to her. Realizing what I had done and running.
 Alice and I had left for Alaska that night; I could feel the disappointment coming off her.
   Edward and the others arrived in Denali three days later. They were all disappointed; I felt it, no matter how hard they tried to hide it. We had stayed there for two months, and then moved to Montana.
    The 4 months following our move, saw us all drifting apart. Carlisle and Esme tried to keep us together, but we just couldn’t make it work anymore. We all knew we had a home if we wanted to come back.
 Edward left first, going back to Alaska. Emmett and Rose followed quickly after, going on a tour of the world for the millionth time. Alice and I were the last ones to leave, although not together.
   When we moved we stayed in separate bedrooms. I hated knowing I had hurt and disappointed her. She felt guilty for feeling that way. Both of us realizing that we wanted different things. She wanted to research her family then go to college. I wanted to just get away, be away from people. So we split-up. I loved her, and she loved me, but we weren’t in love anymore.
   I left, visiting Peter and Charlotte for awhile, slowly drifting around, and never staying in one place to long. Until the day I received the phone call that took me back home.
   I was in Michigan, trying to decide where I wanted to go next, when Carlisle called. It seems Edward had met someone. She was a vampire and he wanted us to meet her. Carlisle and Esme didn’t want to go, but felt they needed to because he was their son. They had loved Bella and still did. It would be hard on them to see him with someone else. I wanted answers. Why had we rushed to save her from James? Why had he saved her from the van? Why had he kept me and Rose from killing her after? Why bring her into our lives at all, if he was going to just move on when someone who wasn’t as breakable came along?
   I always thought Edward would give in and go back to Forks that he would last maybe a month, two at the most and go back to the one he loved. I always thought I would one day be able to apologize to her for what I had almost done. For scaring her and taking away everything she wanted.  Now I would never get the chance.
   As I made my way through Canada, I came to the decision that I didn’t want to go to Alaska; I didn’t want answers from Edward. I wanted to make sure she was okay no one else could be bothered. If she was fine I would send her a note, not the best way to apologize, but it would be something, and then I would leave. If she wasn’t fine I would stay and watch over her, until she was, I owed her that much. I wouldn’t let her know I was there, but she would be protected.
      
   When I first saw her again after 8 months of being gone I almost didn’t recognize her; if she hadn’t come out of Charlie’s house, I would have had to look twice. She had lost weight, didn’t look like she’d slept in months. Her feelings almost put me to my knees; there was so much pain, heartache, and loneliness. What had he done to her? What had we done to her?
   
   I continued to watch.
   I watched her graduate a few weeks later. Graduation should have been a happy occurrence, but she didn’t smile once. I saw her dad hug her and whisper something, but she didn’t acknowledge whatever it was he said. He pulled away quickly, looking just as morose as she did.
   
   And I continued to watch.
   I watched when she started working at the bookstore in Port Angeles, instead of going away to college. And she still wasn’t happy.
   I watched Charlie pass away from a heart attack, and Renee come to take her to Florida three weeks later. I hoped she would go, not because I was tired of watching over her, but I thought the change of scenery would do her good. She didn’t go.
   So here I was still watching, two years later.

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[abbymickey24]

Chapter 2
BPOV

   It was my birthday today.  I was 21 and I didn’t care. I never wanted to celebrate another birthday again.  I was going to finish working and then I was going home.  No late night partying with friends, those were something I hadn’t had for three years.   I had alienated myself from everyone so much when the Cullen’s left, that when I finally started coming out of the shell I had created to keep me sane, I found no one there. 
   I had my dad, who was my rock and kept me from doing something stupid, but then he left me too, not by choice, but still I was alone.  I rarely talked to my mom anymore.  We had so many fights about me coming to Florida.  I finally got tired of calling her.  I wasn’t going to get better there, so why drive us apart more than I already had.
   Life sure had a sick sense of humor,I thought.  When I moved here, all I wanted was to go back to the sun; now I couldn’t leave the rain.  I had lived in Phoenix for 17 years and Forks for 4 years.  Forks was what was home to me.  It held all my good and bad memories.  Memories that didn’t hurt as bad anymore, but still twinged on occasion. 
   I had managed to lock up that broken part of myself and put it away.  I didn’t let anyone get close anymore and I stayed mostly whole. I continued to live my life, not the way I had expected or wanted to, but that’s how it works out sometimes.  I worked with the hand I had been dealt.
   So, here I was in the bookstore I loved, working on my birthday, waiting for my shift to end so I could go home and do nothing.  God I was pathetic.
   


   I was almost done stocking the window with a new display, when I got that feeling of being watched.  I hated that feeling; you know the one I’m talking about.  The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, goose bumps breakout on your skin, and you get that queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. 
   I jerked my head up to look through the window, my eyes scanning across the street.  There was an alley there but no where for someone to hide.  I looked left then right, but it did little good.  I didn’t see anyone.  I shrugged my shoulders and went back to work.
   When my shift was over I walked to my truck and drove home. 
   As I got out to go in the house, I got that feeling again.  Looking around me, I quickly ran up the front steps and unlocked the door.
   Why did I keep having this feeling?  It had started close to graduation and had continued for two years now.  I felt it everyday, sometimes, like today, more than once. And then I would scold myself.  No one was  me, I was being paranoid, I told myself every time. 
    I decided to take a bath, to help me relax.  As I lay there soaking in the tub I allowed myself to think about them, my birthday gift to myself.
    Carlisle, the leader of the family, the one who I could call on if I ever needed him.  Esme, my second mother, who would make me feel comfortable with just her smile, always ready to give me a hug.   Alice, my sister and best friend, the little pixie who lighted my life with her energy.  Jasper, the one who tried to kill me, but for some reason I never held that against him. Emmett, my big brother, I missed his bear hugs and belly laughs.  Rosalie, who never let me in, but I still missed because she was a part of their family.  And Edward, the one I thought loved me, who left me here alone and took everything away.  I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t love him like I used too. 
   I sighed, there was no point rehashing the past.  I would never see any of them again. They had left and were never coming back    
   When I finished my bath and got dressed, I walked down stairs to fix my supper.  While I ate I watched a movie and then went to bed.  Asleep by 10:00 on a Friday night, on my 21st birthday no less. I repeat I am pathetic.
   

   I woke up the next morning to sunlight shining through my window.  As I dressed I thought about what I was going to do today.  I did the same thing every time I was off and it was sunny.  I went to the meadow.  I had been there so much I didn’t even get lost anymore. I put on my hiking boots, grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. 
   As I drove I thought about the difference in how my feelings had change with the meadow.  The first time I had went there, it was with Edward.  I had just found out that he and his family were vampires. He had taken me there to show me what he looked like in the sun.  We went there many times and it was the happiest I had ever been.  A year later, it was the hardest.  After he left I went back by myself.  It was not the place I thought it was at first; it held nothing but pain and sadness.  I stayed only a few minutes at a time.  I continued to go though, every chance I got, and slowly over the months that followed it became a place of peace.  I felt safe there, away from all the drama of my life.  I would lie for hours on the ground just staring up at the sky. 
   As I made my way through the last of the ferns into the meadow, I patted myself on the back.  I didn’t fall once and I had beaten my previous record of finding it.  As I spread my blanket out in the grass I lay down and looked at the clouds.  Trying to find shapes in them.  After awhile I rolled over pulling a book from my bag; after reading only a few pages I lay my head on my arms and drifted off to sleep.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 3
JPOV

   She almost caught me, and if I hadn’t been able to feel what she was feeling, she would have. She continued to scan the street looking for whatever had caused the feeling, but she couldn’t see me. I would have to be more careful. She was still perceptive and I knew she felt me there all the time.
   I followed her home, hiding across the street in the woods. Walking across the yard she again felt me watching her. She turned scanning the street and the woods, and then bolting up the stairs and in the house, locking the door.
   I hated scaring her, I had done that enough in the past, but I couldn’t leave until I knew she was okay. She was getting better, a little at a time, it seemed like. She was sleeping better and eating a little more. I couldn’t help but feel like that was because of me though.
I sat outside her window each night, sending relaxation into her room, but I wondered if, when I left, would she go back to the way she was before.
   I heard the bath water start and decided to go hunt while I waited. I don‘t know why I had hoped she would go out, for her birthday, she hadn‘t before.
Returning to her house, I could see her through the kitchen window making dinner. She went in to the living room, where I heard the TV come on.
Around 10 she made her way up to her room and I went to my nightly post.
   The next morning, I noticed the sun starting to rise. It would be a beautiful day. I knew where we were going. She went there every time it was sunny. At first, I couldn’t tell you why she went there. She was always so sad and crying, but gradually she started to relax. It was peaceful there now. She would lie for hours watching the sky. I would sit in a tree, wondering what she was thinking about.
   I left when she came out of the house. It would give me enough time to get to the meadow and sweep the woods a few times to make sure nothing dangerous was near.
   When she stepped out of the trees, I realized it hadn’t taken nearly as long as it usually did. She was getting better at the hiking business. Her knees weren’t grass stained at all so she didn’t fall this time--that was a good thing.
   I laughed quietly as I though about all the scraps she had walked away with coming here. Fortunately she never hurt herself to bad and I didn’t have to intercede.
   I climbed silently into my normal tree as she spread her blanket out and lay down. She lay on her back, for a few hours and then flipped over on her stomach and pulled out a book; that was different. After a few minutes, she laid her head on her arms. I felt her body relax and realized she had fallen asleep. I was worried at first she never did that, but then she sighed in contentment and I let it go.
   She slept for a few more hours and I didn’t know what to do. I really didn’t want to wake her up, but if she didn’t wake on her own soon, it would be dark before she got out of the woods. As I looked to the sky I figured that I could give her one more hour. With as quick as she was this morning and being rested from her nap, she might even move faster now.
An hour would give me enough time to sweep the woods around here once and the trail she took to get to her truck, before she started out.
   

When I had made my way back to the meadow, she was still sound asleep. Okay, she needed to wake up, but how to do it.
I concocted a plan, knowing it was going to scare the crap out of her, but it was better than walking over and waking her up myself.
   I stepped back to the tree line, my eyes on her the whole time, if she woke up now she would see me. I reached up to the bottom branch and jerked, ripping the limb from the tree with a crack that echoed around the meadow, jumping into the tree in the same moment.
   Just as I suspected she jerked away and sat up, I could feel the fear and hear her heart racing. Looking around she finally started to calm down when her eyes landed on the branch. Looking at the sky, she finally realized that it was late, standing up she put all her things back into her bag and started walking toward the tree line opposite of me. Looking back once at the branch on the ground, and shrugging her shoulders she disappeared into the underbrush.
   I raced around to the other side of the meadow and ran to her truck, making sure before I left that she made it out safely.
   As she started her truck I ran for her house. Making it there before she did, I made a sweep of the woods and her house, something I did every day before she got home. I know I was being overprotective but how could I not. I had to make up for almost killing her and ruining everything.
   She arrived home shortly there after and made her way inside. Fixing herself dinner, she ate so quickly I thought she was going to choke.
   Why did she have to eat that fast? I wondered rolling my eyes.

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[abbymickey24]

Chapter 4
BPOV

   I jerked awake to what sounded like a gunshot.  Looking around me I noticed a branch lying on the ground.  It wasn’t there when I got here, how had it just broken off?
        Looking up the sky I realized how late it was, and made my way to my feet.  I gathered up my things stuffing them in my bag and making my way toward the tree line.  Just before I stepped through the ferns I looked back once at the branch again wondering how it got there.  I shrugged not really caring and started hiking out of the woods.
   When I got home my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten all day.  I had never stayed that long in the meadow.  Next time I would remember to bring some nutrition bars with me. 
   As I made myself dinner, my stomach wouldn’t shut up, if I didn’t hurry up it would start to eat my liver.   
   I ate so fast but I couldn’t seem to force myself to slow down.  When I finished devouring my food, stopping myself before I ate the plate too, I went upstairs to take a shower and fell onto my bed.  Drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

A couple months later…
(November)
   I awoke to a drizzly morning.  Today would be a hard day.  I had to go visit my father today.  It was still hard to believe he had been dead for two years. 
   I got up and got dressed. 
   When I was done I drove to the florist to pick up his flowers. 
   Arriving at the cemetery, I had to take a few deep breaths before I could get out of my truck.  It still wasn’t easy to come here, but I did it, four times a year.  He was my father. 
   I made my way over to his headstone and lay his flowers down. 
   Feeling the tears start I sat and started to  speak the words that I always did.
   Hi, dad.   
   It’s Bella. 
   Life here in Forks is about the same.
   They haven’t come back, so you don’t have to worry.
   I know you would like me to be happy, but it’s just hard. 
   I will keep trying though, because that’s what you wanted.
   Billy checks up on me and said to tell you hey.  He will be by later today to catch up. 
   
   Okay that was the easy part.  I blew out a deep breath and continued.
   
   I miss you so much.
   I’m sorry.
   I’m sorry; I couldn’t be the daughter I use to be before you left this world. 
   I’ll never forgive myself for that. 
   You were my rock.
   You always tried to make everything better, and you took everything on yourself.
   Your heart was so big and it just gave out.
   I’m so sorry.
   Thank you for taking me in when you didn’t have too. 
   Thank you for being the father that any girl would be lucky to have.
   Thank you for just being there, no matter what.
   
   I sat there for a few more hours crying tears of heartbreak.
   As I stood and dried my eyes.  I pressed my fingers to my lips and then to his headstone.  Leaning over I whispered, I love you daddy.
   
   Making my way back to the truck, I looked up one last time, catching sight of the flowers on his grave; I said I love you one more time into the wind.
   
   I drove home and went back to bed.  This day always took so much out of me.
   Curling onto my side, I made a vow.
    It would be a present to my dad. 
   I would try harder to be happy. 
        I would start going out and making friends.
        I couldn’t keep living in the past. 
   Next time I went to his grave I would have something new to tell him, so he wouldn’t worry.
   Next time would be different,    i thought closing my eyes.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 5
JPOV

   I stood listening to Bella get ready; today would be a hard day for her.  It always was when she went to the cemetery.   
   I watched her walk out the door and to her truck, registering the look that was on her face already.  Yes today was going to be hard.
   She drove away and I didn’t follow. 
   I never went to the cemetery, it was a private thing and I never intruded. 
   Usually I stayed here in the trees waiting on her return, but today I decided to go somewhere else.
   Somewhere I haven’t been, in the two years I’d been back in Forks.  I went to our old house. 
   
   Making my way along the drive I realized the forest had not waited to reclaim what we had left behind.  Ferns were spread out in mass. 
   The house was still there though, in all its glory.
 
   Walking up the porch steps, I actually got nervous.  It would be the first time walking back in since that night so long ago.  So much had changed since then. 
   The door wasn’t locked, so pushing it open slowly I took in everything.  Almost everything was still there; the pictures, the furniture, his piano. 
   It was so quiet. 
 
   Why did I come here?  It was so hard.  I was ready to go almost as soon as I walked in the door. 
   But I needed to do this, to move on.  I couldn’t have this life anymore.  When Bella was okay, I would go back to drifting around, never stopping. 
   
   I decided to make my way around to each place that held the most significance to each one of my lost family members. 
   Going to the dining room, I let my fingers trail along the table.  Esme had loved this table.  She would sit for hours going over blueprints, landscapes, and everything else she could get her hands on.  One of us walking in and getting that beautiful smile that she was so quick to hand out.  A smile that would make you feel like you were the most important person in the world. 
   I made my way to the piano, sitting on the bench I played out ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’, that was all I was good for, but Edward could make the most beautiful sounds come out of this instrument.  He would sit for hours playing whatever we asked him too. 
   Looking over toward the couch, I could imagine Emmett sitting there; cheering on whatever team was playing or playing some new video game he had found.  I could almost hear his laughter; it was always so boisterous and infectious. 
   I stood up and walked to the bottom of the staircase. I slowly walked up to the second floor.
   Walking into the first room and going straight through to the bathroom, where Rosalie would spend hours primping.  She would spend hours upon hours looking into anything that showed her reflection. 
   Going back out the door into the hallway I walked to the last door.  Carlisle’s study.  You could always find him here, reading or looking through old medical journals.  I could picture him at the desk, with a big dusty volume of some long ago author, always willing to put off what he was doing, if you had to talk to him.  The quiet leader who made us want to follow in his footsteps. 
   I closed my eyes knowing the next room I had to go to would be the hardest yet.  Mine and Alice’s room.  I walked up to the third floor and paused outside the door.  We had spent so many happy times here.
   I noticed a piece of paper taped to the door.  At first I didn’t touch it. There was no name on the outside, but maybe Bella had left it, hoping Alice would find it someday.  I don’t know how long I stood there, before my curiosity got the best of me.  I reached up and pulled it off, opening it. 
   I sank to the floor, when I realized it was a note to me from Alice; and I read the words that finally set me free:

Jasper,
   I returned here not to long after we went our separate ways to leave this for you.  I had a vision you would be coming back and I wanted you to know some things. Things that I had never told anyone. Things that now you will know and hopefully understand.  Maybe one day you will be able to forgive me.
   When I met you in that diner, so many years ago, I made you believe that I had seen us together.  I did, but what I never told you was that we would not be together forever.  I held out hope that maybe one day it would change, but it never did and I kept it to myself. 
   I know after Bella‘s birthday you could feel the guilt and disappointment coming off me.  But now I need you to know that those feelings weren’t because of what you did.  They were because I knew our time was over.  Guilt because I had never told you, and I was going to hurt both of us and the rest of the family.  Disappointment in myself, for not being able to prevent it.  So don’t blame yourself for anything else, you did nothing wrong. 
   I love you, and always will.  You will always hold a special place in my heart.  But it’s time for both of us to find that special someone.  The one we will have forever with.  The one that will be home to us.

   Before I finish this I also wanted to say Thank You.  Thank you for watching over Bella, she needs you, and she will be okay. 

               Love always
                  Alice


   When I finished reading, I was dumbfounded. Why had Alice never told me this?  Why had she felt the need to keep this from me? I knew the answers before I even fully thought the questions.   Because she loved me and I her.  Because that’s who Alice was. 
   She would also always hold a special place in my heart. 
   I stood up, turning away from the door.  I didn’t need to go in that room anymore, I needed to move on as Alice said. 
   I left the house then.  Going back to Bella’s.   Alice had said she would be okay and for that I was grateful.
   When I got there, Bella was already home, but I couldn’t hear anything coming from the house.  It was only 4:00, what was she doing?  I quickly scanned the street and finding no one about, I scaled the tree outside her window.
   She was lying on her bed, asleep.  It looked like she was in the middle of a nightmare, so I sent a wave a calm and relaxation through the window and watched her relax all most immediately.  Breathing a sigh of relief, I scooted back against the tree trunk and waited for her to wake up.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 6
BPOV

   I woke up and looked over toward my alarm clock; it was 3:30 in the morning, great.  I had to work today and I had slept so long there was no way I was going back to sleep. 
   I got up and stumbled my way to the bathroom, turning the shower on and stepped in.
        I thought about the decision I had made last night, but I had no clue how to go about bringing it to fruition. 
   Okay, making friends.  That would be hard.
        I had never been a social butterfly, and even less now.
        People at work had invited me out to lunch, dinner, and anything else you could think of and I had always said no.  I hoped I hadn’t burned those bridges; they were the only people I knew. Maybe I would ask someone to lunch today.
   With a plan in mind I finished my shower.  Stepping out my stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten at all yesterday, so making my way back to the bedroom; I got dressed and headed down to find something to eat.  As I shut the refrigerator door I noticed the reminder I had hung up.
         We had a meeting today; I needed to be at work at 8 instead of 9. 
   Okay that was good, we always had a few minutes before we had to actually go out to work and everyone would stand around talking.  I shook my head when I realized I never did though.  I would sit in my chair and watch everyone else.  No wonder I had no friends.  That would change though and soon. 
   I made a mental list of who I could ask there was Samantha, the quiet girl, who was always smiling; Allison, the one who always talked about her weekend of partying. Jennifer, who always seemed to have an attitude; Alexis, my manager, she had always tried to get me out of my shell, but I had never let her in; and then there were the guys, but I wasn’t going there yet. 
   So while I ate I thought about each of the girls, and finally decided I would ask Samantha.  She reminded me of Angela Weber from high school.  I knew I would get along with her or at least I hoped I would. 
   After I finished eating I noticed that I had been in such deep thought that I only had thirty minutes left before I needed to leave. I went upstairs to finish getting ready. 
   On my way to work, I stopped to get doughnuts and coffee for everyone.
   When I got to work, everyone else was there except for Alexis and the assistant manager, Nathan.
        The others looked up as I pulled into the parking lot, but all turned back to their conversations, when they saw it was me.  As I got out of my truck, I knew I would need help, because lets face it, even though my balance problems had improved slightly: hot coffee balanced on top of a box of doughnuts was bound to find its way all over me. 
   I looked over toward one group and called out, “Josh.”
   Josh looked over and then started looking around himself, “me?” he asked, pointing to his chest.
   I shook my head yes, and asked, “Can you help me?”
    He looked at the others, who by now where all staring at me like I had three heads, seriously did never talk to these people, before making his way slowly toward me. 
   When he finally got to me, I said, “I got coffee and doughnuts for everyone.  Would you mind carrying the coffee for me?”
   “No I don’t mind and thanks.” He answered smiling.
   He took the coffee from me and started to walk around passing a cup to each person. 
   As he finished up Alexis and Nathan pulled into the lot and we went in the building.
   I thought our meeting would consist of little things they we needed to do, but it was actually to let us know that Alexis would be leaving and Nathan was getting promoted. 
   Her last day would be this Friday and she wanted to let us know, that she was proud of us for being such hard workers and hoped that we would still be for Nathan. 
   I was sad and happy.  Sad, because I liked Alexis, she had been a good boss.  Always there if you wanted to discuss something.  Happy, because I liked Nathan, and knew he would be good at the job. 
   After the meeting Alexis and Nathan went into the office to go over some paperwork and we all started talking.  We decided it would be a good idea to go to dinner Friday night, kind of a goodbye/congratulations thing for them. 
   They thought it was a good and sweet idea, so we decided we would meet Friday night at 8:00.
        Alexis got permission to close at 6:00.  That would give everyone plenty of time to go home and get ready. 
   As I got home that night, I remembered I had never asked Samantha about lunch.  Shrugging my shoulders, I didn’t worry too much about it, I would be going Friday.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 7
JPOV

   I watched Bella wake up and look over at the clock.  I wasn’t surprised she was awake; I was more surprised she hadn’t woke up before now.  She had been asleep since 4:00 yesterday evening. 
   She stumbled her way to the bathroom, hearing the shower come on I jumped to the ground, making my way to the woods.  She never took clothes with her to the bathroom and I wasn’t about to invade her privacy that way.
   I heard her getting ready and then moved over a little when the light came on in the kitchen.  She rummaged through the refrigerator for a second before coming out with some eggs.
      She looked at a piece of paper stuck on the door and turned with a slight smile on her face.
   Thank goodness, vampires had such good eyesight, I thought as I read the note.  She had a meeting at work this morning. 
   As she ate her breakfast, she was in such deep thought. 
   What was she thinking about so hard?  What I wouldn’t give to be able to read minds right now.
   Shaking my head, I mentally slapped myself, even if I could read minds, I wouldn’t be able to read hers, so it didn’t matter.
   She finally finished eating and headed back upstairs.  I could hear her finish getting ready and then she came out of the door.  Leaving when she did, I made it to the bookstore in plenty of time. 


   She didn’t arrive when she should have; I had been doing this long enough to know exactly how long it took her to get to work.  Just as I started to go back and check that she was coming; she came around the side of the building and pulled into the lot.
   Parking and stepping out I heard her call to a boy.
   When he walked over to her, she asked if he would help her.  She then pulled out coffee and handed it to him. And reached back in the truck for doughnuts.  Thank goodness she spotted the disaster waiting to happen if she had tried to get it all herself. 
   She was so thoughtful, getting coffee and doughnuts for everyone.
       That was a nice gesture, only Bella would think of it, and I caught myself smiling.   

   When the last two employees arrived they all filed into the back of the building.  I listened to the meeting, finding that the manager was leaving and the assistant was getting promoted.  The others started talking a little bit and I heard them decided to all go to dinner on Friday night.  I smiled to myself again when I heard Bella say she would go. 
   I was smiling a lot today. And I smiled again at the thought.
   I waited till she got off and then made my way back to the house.


Friday evening…

   Bella didn’t work today.  I was glad, I didn’t really want her to have to drive home and then back to Port Angeles and then back home in one night by herself.  Well, as by herself as she thought she was.
   When she walked out of the house at 7, I almost fell out of the tree I was sitting in. 
   She was absolutely beautiful.  She had always been pretty, but she had never looked like this, not even at prom, after Alice had made her over.  All those lessons Alice gave her, had paid off.
   Her hair was pulled away from her face into a loose bun at the base of her neck.  Her makeup was perfect, just enough to enhance everything. 
   She had on a simple, halter-top black dress, with black heels.  How she made it to her truck without stumbling, was beyond me.  She must have practiced a little before tonight. 
   As she pulled out of the driveway, I ran ahead as usual.
   

   I couldn’t hear the conversations during dinner, there was so much talking going on.  But fortunately there table was right beside a window.  I watched from across the street as she made her way over.
   You could see all the guys looking her up and down. Unconsiously, my fist tightened around the street sign I was holding on too.
       The girls all jumped up and rushed over, you could tell she was uncomfortable with the attention, but that didn’t stop her and I was amazed. 
   I realized she might just be getting better. 
   It made me sad; I had watched over her so long, I didn’t want to really think about what I was going to do when she didn’t need me to do it anymore.  But if it meant she was happy, than that was all that mattered and I would let her be. 
   Every time she laughed at something that was said, I smiled.  I smiled a lot; she seemed to really be enjoying herself. 
   When their dinner was over they all came out on the sidewalk.  They were talking about going to a bar down the street for some dancing.  When they asked her to go, she surprised me by saying yes.
   
   What were these people thinking?  What was she thinking?  Bella dancing was an accident waiting to happen, especially in those shoes.  And if she decided to drink, it would mean a trip to the emergency room. 
   A sober Bella couldn’t walk across a flat surface without falling.  A drunk Bella, I didn’t even want to imagine. 
   Following them to the bar, I cringed.  Of course, there would be no windows to watch through.   And tonight of all nights I would need to watch her, and closely.
   
   Fortunately, I always kept my credit card in my back pocket, and there was a store still open just down the street.  Making my way to it, I bought a complete outfit, not even acknowledging the obvious flirting from the sales clerk. 
   I found a hotel a few blocks down and got a room.  Rushing through a shower and changing into my new clothes, I went back to the bar.  Pausing before I pulled the door open, I took a deep breath.  This was going to be tough; I couldn’t let her see me.
   Pulling the door open, I looked around.  She was toward the back, looking away from me.  I caught the eye of the girl speaking with her and heard, “Look at that tall drink of water that just walked in.” 
   I ducked quickly to the side behind a group of people and made my way to the end of the bar.  She wouldn’t see me here. Thankfully it was already crowded and hopefully I would be able to stay out of her line of sight.
   The night proceeded to be disaster free, at first.  She didn’t dance so, no catastrophe there.  I was glad because in the two hours she had been here, I watched her down a couple shots and a beer.  If she wasn’t drunk, she would be soon, if she continued. 
    I would have to get the bartender to cut her off, she still had to drive home. 

   Another hour passed and then everything changed. 
   Two guys were starting to argue, close to the table where she and the others were standing.    Apparently one guy was dancing with the other one’s girlfriend and he didn’t like it too much.  Before anyone could do anything, a fight broke out. 
   There was so many people crammed around the bouncers couldn’t get to the troublemakers to break it up.  My eyes were on Bella the entire time.  Her party had backed up to the other side of the table. 
   With everyone pushing forward to see the fight, other fights started to breakout.
    No one wanted to be caught standing around when the police inevitably showed up so they all started rushing for the door. 
   I lost sight of her for a minute as everyone rushed by me, but just as my eyes found her again--- still by the table she had been at, trying to get her stuff together-- it happened.  One of the original guys to start the mess slammed into her table, knocking it into her and she fell back against the wall.
   CRAP
   She wasn’t getting up; I don’t even know if she could, but I didn’t care, all I knew was that I had to get her out of there before something else happened to her.  I got up and made my way through the crowd still rushing for the door.  Thank god I was a vampire, and had the strength to move people aside or I would never have made it with the force of their shoving. 
   When I made it to her, she had her eyes closed and was trying to get her breath.  I slipped into a crouch and lifted her into my arms.  Her arms instinctively wrapped around my neck before she opened her eyes.
         I looked down into them and she looked back, muttered a quiet “Oh,” before fainting.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 8
BPOV

   Friday evening I started to get ready.  I had decided I would go all out, hair; make-up, even, cringe, a dress and heels.  I did have to practice a little before wearing them.  I didn’t need to fall while wearing a dress. 
   I showered and dried my hair, pulling it back into a loose bun.  Putting my make-up on the way Alice had showed me.  I then shimmed into my dress and put my shoes on.  Looking into my mirror, I had to admit I looked pretty. 
   I grabbed my purse off the bed. 
   Hoping I wouldn’t stumble; I made my way to my truck and drove to the restaurant.
   As I walked in the girls jumped up and came over, all complimented me, it made me a little uncomfortable, but I was here to start building friendships so I put on a brave face and sat down. 
   

   It was so much fun; I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed that much. 
   After dinner, we made our way out to the sidewalk; the others had decided to go dancing.  I didn’t dance, so I was going home, but then they asked if I wanted to come.  Looking at their faces I realized I wanted to go, I was having too much fun to just let it end with dinner. 
   We walked down the block to the bar and went inside, getting a table at the back.  Josh ordered everyone a round of drinks, I just asked for water.  I had the furthest to drive and couldn’t do it if I started drinking.
   A few minutes later while I was talking to Allison  her eyes lit up and focused on something behind me, “Look at that tall drink of water that just walked in.” 
   I started to turn when she spoke again, “Never mind, he moved.”
   
   They all were pestering me to have one drink, saying it wasn’t going to kill me, so just to get them to back off I got a shot.  It was pretty good, so I got another one and then a beer after that.  I figured why not, I could always rent a hotel room if I need too. 
   We were there maybe three hours when all hell broke loose.  Two guys started fighting right next to our table and we moved so as not to be in the way.  People started pushing forward to get a better look. 

After a few minutes, the fight was still going on, the bouncers couldn’t get through the crowd to break it up and then of course, with all the pushing to see better, more fights started breaking out. 
   Everyone started to make their way to the door, pushing and shoving trying to get out before the police showed up I guess. 
   The others told me to get my stuff and leave. 
   I was trying  to gather my stuff when I felt the table slam into my chest, knocking me to the ground and my breath out of me.  Closing my eyes, I struggled to catch my breath.  I registered arms lifting me up and I automatically wrapped my hands around their neck, silently thanking my savior. 
   When I finally caught my breath, I opened my eyes, intending to thank whoever it was, and looked right into the eyes of someone I never thought to see again, all I managed to say was a quiet ‘oh’ before I passed out.


   I woke up the next morning with a slight headache.  I rolled over and opened my eyes.  Sitting up suddenly, I realized I was not in my room at home. 
   Where was I? Looking around I deduced I was in a hotel, but how did I get here? 
   And then my brain woke up and everything that happened the night before slammed into me. 
   Dinner, the bar, drinking, the fighting, a table slamming into me, and Jasper helping me.  Jasper.
   When I got my bearings, I jumped up and ran to the door, pulling it open and stepped into the other room. 
   There he was; sitting in a chair facing the bedroom door.  Looking like he always did.  He smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders. 
   I walked forward slowly reaching out my hand and touching his arm when I was close enough. 
   He looked at my hand on his arm and then up at me, raising his eyebrows.
   “Are you real?” I asked, in a whisper.
   “Yes,” he whispered just as quietly.
   And before I thought about my actions I flung myself at him.  Wrapping my arms around him and squeezing as hard as I could.  Praying he wasn’t some figment of my imagination and that he wouldn’t disappear.
   I felt his arms come around me then, and he whispered by my ear, “Same old Bella, never thinking before she does something.”
   I cringed and jumped up, “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe you’re here, did Alice send you?  Are you alright?  What happened?  How did you know I was at the bar?”  I was flinging questions at him so fast I don’t think he heard half of them.
   “Bella,” he finally interrupted.  “Let me get you home and then I will answer everything.  There is a lot we need to talk about, and you won’t like some of it.  But it’s not something we will be able to put off, so let’s be on our way.”
   I wasn’t exited anymore, I knew I didn’t want to hear what was coming, but I didn’t want him to leave.  It was the first contact I’d had with any of them for three years.
   When we got home, he walked with me in the house, set me on the sofa and we started talking. And everything crashed around me.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 9
JPOV

   When she fainted on me, it scared me a little. But her breathing was normal and her pulse wasn’t racing, so I relaxed some.
    I carried her back to her truck and slid her in beside me, resting her head on my shoulder.  I drove to the hotel, it was closer than her house and she needed to sleep.  Tomorrow was going to be tough and she needed to rest before I dropped everything on her.
   As I carried her in, the front desk clerk looked at me with a worried expression.  I knew what she was feeling; fear and worry, with a little bit of jealousy thrown in. 
   I sat Bella carefully down on a couch in the lobby, and walked over to the desk.
   “She’s a friend, who’s had a little too much to drink tonight.”  I said, looking her straight in the eye.
   She visibly relaxed and shook her head before speaking, “Well, it’s nice she has such a good friend to take care of her.  You can’t be too careful nowadays.”
   I smiled once, before turning back to Bella.  Scooping her up in my arms and made my way up to the room.
 After laying her in the bed and covering her up I went out to the front room. 
   I sat in an armchair facing the bedroom, and waited.
    Waited for her to wake up, and dreading every minute of it, because I knew I was going to hurt her tomorrow. 
   
   Around 8 the next morning I heard her moving around  in the bed, she was awake and I prepared myself for what was coming.
   The door slowly opened and then she stopped.  I smiled a little and raised my shoulders.  Hoping she wouldn’t start screaming and run from the room. 
   She slowly started walking toward me, keeping her eyes on me the entire time.  When she stopped beside me, I felt her hand on my arm.  I looked down and then back up at her raising my eyebrows. 
   “Are you real?” she whispered.
   “Yes,” I whispered back. 
   And then she flung herself at me, squeezing me for all she was worth. I was so shocked it took a minute before I hugged her back.  I leaned slightly toward her ear and whispered, “Same old Bella, never thinking before she does something.”
   She jumped up then realizing that and said, “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe you’re here.” And then she started firing questions at me so fast I never got a chance to answer them.
    Finally I had to interrupt, she would go on forever if I didn’t, “Bella, let me get you home and then I’ll answer everything.”  I continued, before I could stop myself, “There is a lot we need to talk about, and you won’t like some of it.   But it’s not something we can put off, so let’s be on our way.” 
   Her mood dropped considerably, and her nervousness kicked into high gear.
   I led her out to the truck and I drove her home.
   When we walked into the house, I walked her to the sofa, and sat her down.  Sitting down beside her, we started talking.
   
   “What would you like to know first?” I asked.
   “How long have you been back?” she asked.  Of course it would be one of the hardest to answer.
   “A little before your graduation.  I came back to check on you, hoping to apologize for what I did, and I saw you weren’t happy and you hadn’t moved on, so I decided to stay and watch over you.  I’ve been here ever since.”
   She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, I saw the wetness, threatening to spill over, but she steeled herself and continued, “You were here when my dad passed away.  Why didn’t you come forward then?”
   “I was worried that by coming back into you life at that moment, would be bad for you, I didn’t know how you would react to me, after everything and I didn’t want to make it worse.”
   “Okay, I can understand that, but why not anytime since then?”
   “Again, I was worried how you would react. I had hurt you so much in the past;  I didn’t want to hurt you again but I couldn’t leave, I had to make sure you were okay, first.”
   She smiled and said, “Before we go any further, I guess I need to clear something up first.  I would not have freaked out on you; I would not have thought you were here to kill me.  I never once blamed you for what happened.  There was so much going on that night. I was mad at Edward for not wanting to change me, mad at Alice for celebrating something I hated, and mad at myself for feeling that way.  You did what they all thought about doing that night, even Edward.  You didn’t hurt me, but even if you had gotten to me I still wouldn’t blame you.  I put myself in that position, and I don’t regret anything. So can we just put that behind us and move on from it, please?”
   I nodded; there wasn’t much I could say to her speech, she had released me from the guilt I felt with the first sentence out of her mouth.  I could move on from that.  “Okay.”
   
   A few minutes passed before she spoke again.  “Where is Alice?”
   “I don’t know,” I said truthfully.  “I haven’t spoken to her since I left Carlisle and Esme.  We aren’t together anymore.”
   “Oh, Jasper.” She said, with fresh tears in her eyes.
   “It’s okay,” I reassured her.  “It wasn’t meant to be for us.  She told me that we weren’t meant for forever, granted it wasn’t the day we met, but after we had agreed to split up.  We both still love each other, but not enough to stay together.”
   “I’m so sorry.”
   “It’s not your fault.  You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
   “I know, it’s just so sad.”
   “It was, but its okay now, so don’t worry.”
   “Does she or anyone else know you’re here?”
   “She does, but I don’t think she’s told anyone else.  I haven’t received a phone call from anyone.”
   “What about Edward?” she whispered.
   I didn’t want to answer this one, but I had too, she had a right to know. I looked down toward the floor and began…
   “He is in Alaska.  He met someone.  I was going there to meet her, but I came here instead.  I didn’t want to see him.  I was mad that he could just leave and break your heart. He owed you more than that and I didn’t want to be around him or hear his excuses.  Carlisle, Esme, and Alice went, they didn’t want to, but he is there son and brother.  They still missed you, so much.”
   When I finished I looked up to her eyes, the tears that had threatened to spill over before were running down her face.  She was shaking and trying to hold in the sobs, but finally they started wracking her body and she was hysterical. 
   I pulled her into my lap and just held her.  I didn’t even try to calm her because a) there was so much pain, I don’t think it would have worked anyway and b) she needed to do this, she needed to let it out, so she could let go. 
   I sat like that for hours, holding on for dear life, trying to figure out how someone could survive this.  Thinking if I let her go, she would shatter. 
   Finally, she started to quiet down, and slowly drift to sleep.
     I knew if I let go now, she would have nightmares, so I continued to hold her, calming her when she showed signs of tension. 
   Around 9 that night, I stood up and carried her up to her bedroom. 
   As I was fixing to shut the door, I heard a low whisper, “Jasper?”
   “Yes, Bella.”
   “Will you be here when I get up?”
   “Yes, I‘ll stay as long as you‘ll let me.  Now rest, please.  You have had a very rough day.’’
   I walked back down to the couch and sat down, putting my head in my hands.
    She was hurting so much, again, because of him. But, I thought to myself, this time she won’t go through it alone.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 10
BPOV

   When I woke up the next morning, I lay there; replaying everything Jasper had said over and over in my mind.
   He and Alice weren’t together anymore, he had been watching out for me since graduation. That explained my feelings of being watched.
   Edward was with someone else. Edward was with someone else.
   Fresh tears started, but before they got too far, I sat up and wiped them away. He wouldn’t break me again. I had already been broken enough. I loved him and always would, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I had already figured that out, but it still hurt to hear he had moved on. I would get through it though.    
   I got up, and went to the bathroom. I decided a quick shower would be beneficial and then I would go see if I had scared Jasper off with my crying fit last night.
   As I got out of the shower, I caught a whiff of something that smelled so good. Getting dressed I headed down stairs and stopped in the kitchen doorway, surprised.


   The table was covered in food. Waffles and pancakes, eggs, bacon and sausage, toast, orange juice, coffee and milk.
   “Jasper, what is this?” I asked.
   He turned from the sink, and said, “I thought you might be hungry, and I didn’t really know what you liked, so I made a little of everything. Its okay, isn’t it?”
   “Yes,” I said quickly, as my stomach chose that moment to thank him for me.
   He started laughing and said, “Well, sit and eat. We can talk some more after; if you feel up to it?”
   As I poured syrup all over my waffles, he sat down across from me.
   “You okay?” he asked, with a worried look on his face.
   “Yes, it was just a lot to take in, but I’ll be fine.”
   We sat in silence while I finished my food. When I was done, he asked, “Can I ask you a question, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I always wondered?”
   “Sure.”
   “Why didn’t you ever move on; go back to your mom’s, or go away to college?”
   “Well,” I said, blowing out a deep breath, “I didn’t go to my mom’s because she didn’t understand how upset I was, she couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did. We started fighting every time we talked and I didn’t want us to say something we would regret later. As for college, I was such a zombie in those first months that I let everything go, I barely scraped by in all my classes and I never bothered applying anywhere”
   “I’m sorry, I ruined everything.”
   “No, I told you that last night. I never blamed you, so stop apologizing.”
   “Okay, I’m sorry.”
   “Jasper.”
   “I know. I couldn’t help it.” He said, laughing.
   I smiled and got up to clean up the kitchen.
   “I’ll do that. You just sit down.”
   “No, you cooked, I’ll clean. Just sit down and relax.”
   “You’re sure?”
   “Yes.”
   He sat back down. After a few minutes of cleaning the table off, I noticed he kept fidgeting in his seat, every now and then opening his mouth like he was going to say something, but closing it quickly.
   Finally, not being able to take it anymore I said, “Just ask whatever it is you want to ask. It can’t be much worse, than what I heard last night.”
   “Do you still love him?” he asked so low, I almost didn’t hear him.
   That wasn’t so bad. “Yes and no. Yes, I love him, but no I’m not in love with him anymore.”
   He didn’t say or ask anything else just continued to look at me with worried eyes.
   
   When I finished cleaning up we went into the living room and sat down. And then it was me who was struggling to ask the question.
   He threw my own words back at me, “Just ask what you want to ask, it can’t be much worse than last night.”
   I smiled and asked, “How long are you planning on staying?”
   “How long do you want me to stay?”
   “Awhile, I could use a friend.”
   “Then I’m here until you ask me to leave. I could use a friend right now, too.”
   “Okay. Friends then, I mean, not like we weren’t friends before, but…” I said, starting to ramble.
   “Bella, stop. I know what you mean.” he said.
   I laughed and then asked, “Have you been staying at the house?”
   “No, I’ve been staying in the woods across the street.”
   “What? You haven’t been out there this whole time; please tell me I heard you wrong?”
   “No, you didn’t hear wrong. But its okay, I didn’t mind it, it’s not like I had to sleep on the ground or anything.”
   “You will not stay out there anymore, you will move in with me. I have room and it will be good to know you’re here and not out in the rain.”
   “Bella, it doesn’t bother me and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
   “I won’t be uncomfortable, as long as you’re in the house. Now if you are out there I would be. So no arguing.”
   “Okay, but the second you feel weird about it, I’m back outside, deal? And you know you won’t be able to lie about it either.”
   “Deal,” I said, holding out my hand.
   He shook it and then broke into a grin. I grinned back and then sat back against the sofa.
   
   
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[abbymickey24]

Chapter 11
(February)
JPOV


   It had been a few months since Bella found out I was here and had moved me into the house.  We spent all our time together, watching movies, talking or going for walks.

    But she still had a sadness about her, granted it wasn’t as bad as before, but it was still there. 

   She did smile more often, but it still wasn’t enough for me.  She had become my very best friend and I wanted her smiling all the time. I just didn’t know how to go about making it happen.

    After hours of sitting there, going over stuff in my head, a light bulb switched on.

     I would make a list.  A list of things she had never done.  Things that I thought she would enjoy and some that she might enjoy if she just tried it.  Also things that Edward would have never let her do, whether or not she had thought about it, because it would have been too dangerous.


   After finding a piece of paper and a pen, I sat on the floor at the coffee table and began.  It was slow going at first, because I really didn’t know what she had or hadn’t done.

   So there I was still thinking about it, when she came home that night.  When she looked at me sitting on the floor, she raised her eyebrows and asked, “Why are you sitting on the floor?”
   I ignored her question and asked one of my own, “Are you scared of heights?”
   “No,” she replied, with a worried expression on her face.  “Why?”
   “No reason, just something I wondered.” I said smiling. 
   She shrugged her shoulders, and disappeared into the kitchen to get something to eat.


   The next morning after she left, I called her mom.  She would be mad, if she found out, but I was at a loss.  I couldn’t ask her, she would get suspicious.  So I did the next best thing. 
   At first her mom, didn’t want to talk to me, but as I explained I was a friend and what I was doing, she finally gave in and gave me the answers I needed.

   Finally after days of making out a list, scratching some things out and adding others, even going as far as channeling Emmett a few times I had my list.

   I then worked over it, putting the ones that would be the toughest to talk her into doing first and the easier ones last.   When I finished that, I looked at the piece of paper I had worked meticulously over for the last week. I was ready to put my plans into action.  I read over it again one last time, before she got home:

   The Make Bella Smile List

   1. Take her dancing-she had already done this before, but she had a broken leg and it was with Edward.

   2. Sky diving-just the freedom of it was thrilling; would have to wait for a cloudy day.

   3. Teach her to ride a motorcycle-something Edward would have freaked out over if she had even mentioned wanting to try.

   4. Take her to a race track and let her drive a racecar-refer back to number 4, for the reasons behind this.

   5. Take her to Disneyland-the happiest place on earth. Would have to go at night, but then no lines.

   6. Horseback riding on the beach-self explanatory if you’ve ever done it, if not try it.

    7. .Take her to an arcade-still can’t believe she hadn’t done this one, but it would soon be rectified.

   8. Get her a tattoo-can’t really explain why, just go with me here though    

   9. Get her to sing Karaoke-this one was more for me. I had heard her a couple times, singing to herself and she had an amazing voice.

   10. Take her to a Vegas-the lights, sounds, and shows are truly amazing

   A few more weeks of planning and spending money.  Thank goodness I had an unlimited supply. I did have to go back to the old house, but it would all be worth it.  I knew I would never be able to tell her how much money I spent, because she would be mad. So mad.

   Everything was ready; I just had to tell her now.  I knew I didn’t want to tell her what I was actually planning; only that I was planning something, and when I would do it, but other than that she would have no clue until we arrived at our destination. 

   I was so excited when she got home that night; I think I freaked her out.  I went hunting before I gave myself away.
        When I got back I blew out a sigh of relief; she was already asleep. 
   She would find out tomorrow night where my excitement came from, I just hoped when this was over, she would have a permanent smile etched on her face.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 12
BPOV

   Okay, when I got home tonight, I thought Jasper was having fits.  I don’t know what was wrong with him.  He was bouncing around like someone who had been injected with straight caffeine.  Every time I looked at him, he had this goofy grin on his face, and then he would smirk and start bouncing around again.
   He finally left to go hunting and I was relieved, I took a bath to relax, and went on to bed.  I was worn out from just watching him. 

   The next morning, he had enough control over himself not to go bouncing around, but he still had the same goofy grin. 
       He told me we were going out that night; he had something he wanted to talk to me about.
   I worried all day; even though he had been smiling it still scared me. 
   Was he tired of hanging out with me?
   Was he going to leave?

   He was my best friend, I couldn’t lose him.  We had gotten so close in such a short amount of time.  I didn’t want to see it end.

   When I got home that night, he was raring to go.  He wouldn’t let me eat anything, telling me I could eat when we got to wherever we were going.

    We drove back to Port Angeles and pulled into a mini-golf parking lot. 
   I relaxed then, whatever he had to tell me couldn’t be that bad, if we would be playing putt-putt. 
   We went inside and he looked over at me and asked, “What would you like to eat?”
   I stood contemplating the menu; it was hard to concentrate; he had resumed his bouncing from the previous night.
        After a minute I ordered a cheeseburger and fries.
   “Go sit down, I’ll bring it over when it’s ready.” he said motioning me to go find a table.
   I sat down, looking around I smirked at all the girls ogling him.  Their boyfriends engrossed into whatever arcade game they were playing. 
   When Jasper brought my food over I leaned forward and whispered, “You have a few admirers.”
   He looked around, shrugged his shoulder and sat down.

   I took a few bites before working up the courage to ask, “So are you going to tell me what we are doing here and what you wanted to talk to me about?”

   “We are here because we are going to play putt-putt.”  Then his face got more animated before he continued, “I wanted to talk to you about something I’ve planned.”
   “Okay,” I said slowly.

   “Well, I felt it was time to do some different things, things that you haven’t done, before.”

   “What kind of things?”

   “I can’t tell you that specifically, but I will tell you a few things about the list.”

   “The list?”

   “Yes, the Make Bella Smile List.”  He said flashing me a grin

   I didn’t know if I really liked where this was going.

   “Okay,” He said clapping his hands.  “First, there are ten things on the list.  Second, you have only done one of them before.  Third, we will do each one separately.  Fourth, you don’t get to find out what we are doing until the actual activity starts.  Fifth, I don’t want to hear I can’t, because you can.  Sixth, once you commit to doing the list, there is no going back.  And last but not least, nothing on the list is too dangerous.”
   He sat back then and waited for my reply. 

   After I closed my mouth I asked, “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this list?”

   “You will, you just have to trust me.  Can you do that?”

   “Yes,” I answered without having to think about it.

   “Good.  So do you commit to doing what’s on the list?”

   “Yes.”  How could I not, after thinking about how excited he had been for the past two days.

   “This is going to be so much fun.”

    After I finished eating, we made our way over to the putt-putt counter and picked out our balls and putters.  I would be playing with green, when he grabbed a few more green balls and put them in his pocket, I gave him a questioning look.
    “It’s you,” he said while picking a red ball for himself.
         I couldn’t argue with that, I would inevitably loose one or more. 

   As we walked out the door, he handed me the score card saying, “You keep score, I’ll need my hands free to catch you when you trip.  I stuck my tongue out at him and turned, and promptly tripped over a rock. 
   Catching me he laughed, “See, told you.”
   Setting me back on my feet he said, “Which course do you want to try?”
   Looking around I finally settled on the elephant course and we started playing. 

   We had so much fun.  I lost my first ball on the second hole and the second ball on the sixth hole.  I tripped on the ninth and tenth hole, and almost fell into the small fish pond on the thirteenth hole. 

   When we finally made it to the last hole--with no other accident--he was already beating me by like 20 strokes, so I just let my club fly, and I’m still no sure how it happened, got a hole in one.
   While he knocked his ball in, I was jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store. As his ball went in the hole I threw myself at him and asked, “Did you see what I did?”
 
   “Yes Bella, I was standing right here.” He said laughing. 

   We turned in our putters and walked out to the parking lot.

   “I had so much fun. Thank you.” I said, slipping my arm through his.

   “I could tell,” he said laughing again.

   When we got home I was still a little keyed up so we sat on the couch to watch a movie, not much later I was awakened as he carried me up the stairs to my bedroom.  Placing a kiss on my forehead he whispered, “Sweet dreams,” before going back downstairs.

   I rolled over and fell back asleep, a smile still on my lips.

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 13
(March)
JPOV

   Bella left for work this morning in a nervous fit.
   
    As she had went to walk out the door, I told her tonight was number one on the Make Bella Smile List. Then grinned as her heart rate sped up.
   “Calm down. You’d think I’d just told you I was pulling all your teeth out.”
   She went to complain, but stopped herself and said instead, “What do I need to do?”
   “That’s my girl. All you have to do is follow the envelopes.”
   “What?” she asked.
   “When you get off Nathan will give you an envelope, just do what it says. You’ll get a new envelope at each new place.”
   “Okay,” she said resigned to my game.
   “I’ll see you later.” I said, laughing as she shut the door.
   
   I had decided to do kind of like a treasure hunt. I thought it would be fun and it would loosen her up, before she found out what we were really doing. Because I knew she would be mad, scared, worried, and self-conscious.
   Around 3:00, I got dressed. I had bought a simple black suit for the occasion. A white shirt completed the outfit, no tie; we weren’t going anywhere that fancy. I walked out to the Viper I had rented and headed toward town. I wanted to watch as she received her envelopes and the look that I knew would appear on her face.

   She got off at 4:00, walking out onto the sidewalk, I watched as she opened up the first envelope. All that was written was an address and the words go to the desk and tell them your name.
    Her head snapped up as someone called out, “Ms. Swan.”
   “Yes,” I heard her say.
   “Where are we going?”
   “We?” she asked completely confused.
   “Yes, I am at your beck and call, you give me the address and I take you there.”
   That’s when she noticed the black sedan behind the driver. Shaking her head she walked forward and rattled off the address, before settling into the backseat.
   As the driver pulled away from the curb, I pulled out and followed.
   They arrived at the address and she got out. Looking up at the hotel, she took a deep breath and walked in.
   I sat back in my seat and waited.
   The next envelope would come with a key to a room. She would read the words, the room is yours to do with as you see fit. Take a shower or a bath. You will find all the necessary things for either. There will also be an outfit on the bed, put it on. Just be back in the car by 5 and give the driver the following address. Ask for Shelley.
   I had to raid her closet, something I would never have done normally, but in this case it was necessary, I had needed sizes.
   She was back out around 4:50 looking very refreshed and they set off. They arrived at the hair salon five minutes later. She got out of the car frowning. I laughed in spite of myself. This was so much fun.
   I had arranged for her to have a salad, while her hair was being fixed, she would need something to eat and I didn’t want her to worry that I had forgotten that part. When she was finished, Shelley handed her the next envelope.
   It, like the others, contained an address and the words. No pink and ask for Marian. She walked to the car, gave the driver that address, and got in. He drove her to the nail salon. She was getting a manicure, pedicure and her make-up done.
   She was smiling by the time she left so that was a good sign. Marian handed her the next envelope.
   Along with the address in this envelope, were the words; ask for Jennifer and then choose which ever one you want. I waited as she walked in and then went to the dance club.
    I had taken her size to the dress shop and asked them to pull a few dresses in different colors. She would choose the one she wanted and then they would pick out the shoes and jewelry to match. After she finished that she would get the address to the club and the words, I hope you enjoyed yourself, I will see you soon.
   
   As I leaned against the wall just inside the door, trying to ignore the looks being shot my way, I thought back over the day. Hopefully she had, had fun. And would enjoy the rest of the evening. All I wanted was the smile.
   When the door opened I looked to my left, and all thoughts to my brain stopped.
    I had thought she looked beautiful the night she went out to dinner, but that in no way compared to how she looked tonight.
   She had chosen a red, baby-doll style dress with spaghetti straps. Pairing it with gold heels and matching jewelry she took my breath away.
   I stepped away from the wall and walked slowly toward her. She had the biggest smile on her face and my task was almost complete, now I just had to keep it there.
   “Hey beautiful,” I said, stopping in front of her. “Did you enjoy your day?”
   “You don’t look so bad yourself, and yes I had the best time, thank you.”
   “That’s what I was hoping you’d say. Are you ready for the actual part of the list?” I asked, slipping her arm through mine.
   “Yes, as long as you promise to not let me fall.” she answered.
   “I promise.”
 I looked toward the DJ and he switched from the fast song that was playing to Miracle by Vertical Horizon. Pulling her onto the dance floor I wrapped one arm around her and held the other one against me and we danced.
   
   We danced so much that night. To fast and slow songs both. I thought she would balk at the fast ones, but she was laughing and smiling as I twirled her around.
   I never let her go. We were in our own little world.   
   
   As the night wore down I could feel she was getting tired.
   Leaning close to her ear I said, “One more dance and then we will go.”
   She nodded and looked up at me, smiling.
   So we danced one last time to Broken by Seether.
   
   When it was over I slipped her arm back through mine, and we walked out to the car.
   I drove to the hotel, walking through the lobby; she pulled her arm out of mine and slipped it around my waist, leaning her head against my shoulder.
   “Thank you,” she whispered.
   “Anytime.” I said, smiling down at her.
   As she got ready to go to sleep, I smiled to myself. Tonight could not have gone any better.
 

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[abbymickey24]

Chapter 14
(Mid-March)
BPOV

   
   Jasper woke me up at the crack of dawn this morning.  I started to complain, but he told me to suck it up and get ready to go.  When I asked where we were going, he just held up two fingers. 
   I flew to the bathroom then, while he walked back downstairs laughing.
   I jumped in the shower. I was ready for number two on the list, and I tried at first to figure out what we were going to be doing, but then ended up turning my thoughts to number one.
********
   Number one had been so much fun.  When I got the first envelope I was nervous; I had no clue what he had planned, but after getting to the hotel and taking a bath, and  relaxing, I thought how bad could it be.
   Arriving at the hair salon had me frowning again, but soon I was calm.  He had gotten me dinner and had it waiting on me. I figured he would have forgotten. And as I went through the rest of the envelopes, I could actually feel myself getting excited, to the point that when we pulled up to the dance club and I realized dancing was number one, I didn’t mind it.  When I walked in, he was waiting for me and he looked so good.  I’d made him promise to not let me fall.  He didn’t let me go once.
*********
   I smiled as I stepped out of the shower.  If today was as much fun as that night, I knew I would have nothing to worry about with the rest of the list.

   When I went downstairs Jasper had made me pancakes and then proceeded to rush me through eating them. 
   “If you wanted me to rush, why did you make me breakfast?” I asked
   “Because you need the food in your stomach.”  He replied.
   Okay, I was officially nervous again.
   “Don’t be nervous,” he said, “It will be fun.”
   I nodded my head and finished my breakfast.

   We drove to Seattle, and then into a small airport.
   “Jasper, what are we doing here?” I asked.
   “You’ll see.  Now let’s go.”
   We walked over to a hanger and he turned me to look back across the field.
   “Are you going to explain why we are here, now?” I asked
   “Look,’ he said, pointing toward the sky
   I looked up and caught sight of a bright colored something in the sky coming closer.  When it got close enough to see that it actually was a person with a parachute attached, I freaked. 
   “NO, NO, NO.”  I said, starting to back up.
   He stepped behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.  “Don’t you trust me?” he asked, in my ear.
   “You know I do, but I can’t…”
   “You’re not allowed to say can’t, remember?” he interrupted.
   “Yes, but…”
   “No, there’s nothing to worry about.  I’ll be right there with you.  Strapped to you as a matter of fact.”  He said.
   “How?”
   “I’m certified to do tandem jumps.” He said, turning me around to face him.
   Of course he was. 
   “Okay, let’s get this over with, before I freak out again.” I said looking back toward the guy landing.
   
   We walked into the hanger and I had to watch a short video on what I should and shouldn’t do.  I paid very close attention. Making sure I went over everything in my head again and again.
   When it was over, we went to get our jumpsuits on, he had to help me a few times, my hands were shaking so hard.
   He finally, took my hands in his and looked me in the eye.  “You can do this.  You have always been so brave.  Just relax and enjoy the freedom.” He said, so sincerely, that I couldn’t help believe him.
   As we walked toward the small plane, I knew I was going to do it, but I still got scared.  Then I felt a wave of calm settle on me.  Looking over at him with a grateful smile, I took a deep breath and climbed in.
   The plane took off and he pulled me to him so he could get us strapped together.  Sliding over to the open door, he helped get my legs out from under me, putting his arms around me he whispered, “You ready?”
   Shaking my head yes, I took in another deep breath.
   “Okay, on three.  1…2...3.”
   And then we were falling. 
   Why had I ever been scared?  I couldn’t for the life of me remember. 
   It was amazing.  The sights and just the feel of soaring were unbelievable.
   I felt his hand grab mine and put it on the ripcord, a few seconds later he pulled and our parachute flew out jerking us to a slower pace. 
   Drifting to the ground, I knew I had found a new hobby and I couldn’t be happier. Landing with a slight jar, I waited while he unhooked us and then turned throwing my arms around his neck. 
   “That was so much fun.”
   He was laughing and said, “See, I told you, nothing to worry about.”
   “I know, it was so amazing and beautiful.  Thank you for making me do this.”
   “Your welcome.  Now,” he said, clapping his hands, “let’s get out of these suits and get you some lunch.”
   

   After lunch, we spent the rest of the day just  walking around the city. 
   That night there was a free concert in the park and we stayed for it.  We danced again and I found I enjoyed being with him, more and more.
   
   After we got home, Jasper went out hunting. I took a bath to relax.
        As I lay on my bed later that night, I couldn’t get to sleep.  I was restless and anxious, but as soon as I heard the door open downstairs, and I knew he was back; I drifted to unconsciousness almost immediately.
   
   

[abbymickey24]

Chapter 15
JPOV
Two weeks after Number 2...
   
   Tonight found me back in the woods watching Bella’s house.  She was in her room crying and I couldn’t make myself go talk to her.  I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since this afternoon.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I was afraid of what I would see when I looked into her eyes.  I was afraid she would tell me to leave and never darken her doorstep again.
   I thought back over the events that had led up to make this horrible day.

   Everything started out perfect; I had told her the night before that we would be doing number 3 on the list the next day. She had gotten so excited.
   After breakfast I walked her out to the backyard where I had put the motorcycle I had bought.  It was covered with a tarp at the moment, so I didn’t say anything about the look on her face.   
   “What is it?” she asked, eyeing it with worry.
   I didn’t answer, but just walked over to the tarp and pulled.
   Her eyes lit up and she actually squealed.  Running over she started running her hands over the seat.  “It’s beautiful.  All shiny,” she purred.
   I laughed, “That’s one way to put it.  You don’t mind trying it out.”
   Shaking her head emphatically, she said, “No, I’ve always wanted to ride one.”
   “Bella, riding wasn’t number 3, learning to drive it is.”
   “Oh, I was so hoping you would say that.”
   “I’ll take you for a ride first, and then when we get back we’ll start the lessons.  Okay?” I asked, reaching over to the other side and grabbing her helmet.
   “Okay.  Do I really have to wear that thing?” she asked.
   “Yes, or we don’t do this.”
   “Fine.” she huffed
   She looked so cute standing there with her arms crossed and her bottom lip poked out.
   So to get her out of her little fake mad spell, I threw her the helmet.  Thank goodness she caught it, if she hadn’t; it would have smacked her right in the face.
   The look on her face was so priceless I cracked up.
   She just raised an eyebrow before putting it on. 
   As she walked beside me as I pushed it through the back gate, I could feel her excitement start to make its way back up.  After I had climbed on, I told her to hop up and she quite literally almost did just that. 
   When she got settled and slid her arms around me, I leaned back a little to say, “Hang on tight and lean the way I do, okay?”
   I felt her head bob. 
   Starting it up, I could actually feel her shivering with anticipation. 
   I reached down and squeezed her hands once and we were off.  We rode around Forks for a little while then to Port Angeles and back. 
   When we got back to her house and she had pulled her helmet off she was practically salivating. 
   “My turn now.” she said.
   I spent the next couple hours going over all the different parts and what she needed to do.  She was so attentive, drinking in everything I said.
   Another hour and she was actually able to drive around the yard by herself. 
   Sitting on the bottom step, I just enjoyed the sight.  She was having so much fun. 
   Around 2 it ran out of gas, across the yard.  She looked over at me with a confused expression.
   “You ran out of gas.” I said laughing.
   “Oh, well that’s okay.  We’ll try it again tomorrow.”  Then she jumped off and started making her way to me.


     And then the best morning turned into the worst afternoon.
   It was like everything sped up, one second she was walking toward me and the next she was falling.  She hit the ground before I had even gotten up.  I stood up to go help her, when the scent of her blood hit me. 
   The demon inside me roared with a sick sense of justice, taking note there was no one here to stop me this time.  I crouched into a hunting stance and slowly stalked forward.  Venom flooded my mouth and my lips curled back.  A low growl worked its way up and out. 
   At the sound she looked up at me with pure confusion on her face.  Fear replaced the confusion as she reached up to her head and felt the small trickle of blood at her hairline.
   That fear snapped my brain into crystal clear focus and knocked me to my knees in the process.
   What had I almost done, again?
   I looked up, she still hadn’t moved and fear was still the only emotion coming off her. 
   So, I stood and ran.  Ran for all I was worth.  I had to get away. 
   
   I had run almost to Seattle, taking down a bear and mountain lion before stopping and sinking to the forest floor. 
   Curling into a ball I lay there. 
   What was I going to do?  She wouldn’t want me around anymore, and that killed me to think about.  But how could she not.  I was exactly what everyone thought me to be.  I was a monster. 
   I lay on the ground for hours before making my way slowly back to Bella’s…
   

   Hearing the front door open pulled me from my thoughts.  I looked up to see her standing on the top steps.  She was looking up and down the road and toward the woods. 
   All she spoke was one sentence.
   “Jasper, please come home.”
   It wasn’t a lot, but it was effective to get me moving.  I stepped out of the tree line and stopped.
   When she saw me standing there, she dissolved into a fresh round of tears.  She beckoned me forward and then turned and went into the house.
   I followed at a snail’s pace. 
   What was she doing?
   
   I walked into the house to find her sitting on the couch. 
   “Bella?”
   Her relief hit me like a ton of bricks. 
   “I’m so glad you came back, I was afraid you wouldn’t.” she whispered.
   “Why?”
   “Why, what?” she asked looking back at me.   
   “Why do you want me here?  I almost killed you again.”
   “But you didn’t.” she said simply.
   “Bella.”
   “No, Jasper.  You didn’t do anything to me.  You stopped yourself and then ran. You got control over yourself. There’s nothing else to talk about.”
   “I didn’t stop myself, you stopped me.”
   She was looking at me confused, so I continued, “The fear I saw on your face and in your eyes stopped me.  I was scaring you; that’s what snapped me out of it, not anything I did.”
   “You weren’t scaring me. I knew you would stop.  The fear you saw wasn’t for what I thought you were going to do to me; it was for thinking you were going to leave, again.”  She said.
   “It’s for the best if I leave.”
   “No, it’s not,” she whispered with fresh tears in her eyes.  “I can’t lose you, you’re my best friend.  I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.”
   “You’ve become my best friend, too, but I’m scared next time nothing will stop me.”
   “You will stop yourself.  I have a feeling after today; you will have more control than you ever thought you would have.”
   How could she be so forgiving?
   
    She was so sure that I wouldn’t hurt her that I knew--in that moment-- that I would be able to control myself, if it took every last bit of strength I had.  I would not cause her to regret those words.
   “I won’t leave.” I said.  Once again I felt her relief wash over me.
   “Good, now get over here and give me a hug.” she said standing up and opening her arms.
   I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her. 
   We stood there for a few minutes before she pulled away and pulled me onto the couch.  Curling up next to me, I felt her sigh before she went off to sleep.