TA TALKS BACK: CONFESSIONS OF A CLOSET TWILIGHTER

[Team Switzerland]

TA TALKS BACK: CONFESSIONS OF A CLOSET TWILIGHTER

Today, TA Staffer Eirelav writes in a great article about her love for the Twilight Saga and gives us a look inside the confessions of a closet Twilighter.
 
Confessions of a Closet Twilighter By: Eirelav
Today, Thursday, September 17, 2009, I celebrate my one-year anniversary as a member on Twilighters Anonymous. My experiences here have been overwhelmingly wonderful, and yet, I haven’t shared very many of them with my family and friends. Why? Simply because they don’t know just how far my obsession has gone.
There are four people I know in real life that know I am a moderator on TA. Three of those people know that I write fan fiction. Only two of those people have read my writing. Why is that? Why haven’t I come out of the Twilight closet? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m hoping to learn that through the writing of this article.

My love of The Twilight Saga began the same way as many others’: through reading the books. I started reading the books about a week before Breaking Dawn came out, so it was available by the time I was ready for it. I lost count as to the number of times I read all of them in that first month. All I did in my spare time was read. One of the books was constantly with me. I had one in the car, hoping to be stuck in a traffic jam, one always came to work with me, and I would carry one around the house with me from room to room.

Eventually, the books weren’t enough and I had to branch out into other things. I went online and began searching for anything and everything Twilight I could find. Website after website, I searched for news about Stephenie Meyer, her writing, the movie. I was on a different website when I found the link to TA. When I saw the name, I knew this was the place for me. Twilighters Anonymous. It called to me, begged me to check it out. The realization hit me that I could explore my addiction, because I knew that I was addicted, without anyone else finding out. It became my dirty little secret.

TO READ THE COMPLETE ARTICLE, CLICK BELOW:
http://twilightersanonymous.com/ta-talks-back-confessions-of-a-closet-twilighter-newsblog.html

[resonnant]

Wow - damn. I saw myself in what you wrote. You did a really good job of saying things that I keep to myself - except for when I'm here. Wow... Still though, I want to stay in the closet because it's safe and protected. Sometimes if you let something you deem sacred be known it is ridiculed, discarded or stomped on - so I prefer the closet.

[vamped4Edward]

Well, you are not alone. I don't talk twilight outside of my few friends because I am ridiculed for it frequently. In addition, because of my faith, where vampires and anything similar is clearly opposed, I try to hide this secret. I obviously disagree with my fellow believers, in that vampires are NOT real, but fun to think about. And who can deny the gorgeous Edward Cullen and all his luciousness! So I too write my own fanfic to keep myself SANE! Without TA, I would be lost. So I keep posting, reading, and writing until another movie comes out and hope to make some twilight friends.
 

vamped4Edward

[TheFarawayTwilighter]

Happy TAniversay!!!

lol, Edward Closet

I felt the same way, and I still carry the books around everywhere I go. And just recently some of my friends and brother know that I'm a TA, but at first no one knew about my little addiction (which now is really big) being here is different you can talk with people about any twilight related thing and they will understand, meanwhile in the real world you say "Be safe" and they won't even know what you're talking about. So I guess I like my two worlds just like they are, an escape from the sometimes painful real life, a breath.

[TwiMom817]

Wow Val that story really hit home. Almost everything you said is exactly me. You are not the only closet fan.

Just like you I feel I can escape my real life issues by just coming on TA and chatting with my friends. If were not for Twilight and TA I would not met some really nice people.

On a side note I have read your fan fic (still reading Wedding) and I love your work.

[jazzvamp90]

Val, great article!!! 

Until a couple months ago I was a closet Twilighter, but then I exploded and my facebook page is full. lol   thats online but in real life, only 5 people know...and only my parents know I write fanfic..and only my Mom has read it because she's obessed with Twilight as well. lol

so you are not alone!  I agree, it is nice to have something all to your self in a way.  you type what you want and no one in RL will comment on it.  it's nice to be free.  and like you I am not normally chatty...I'm actually quite shy...who would have thought ELP was shy! 

again, I loved the article Val! 

[Mrs-Edward-Cullen]

I'm so glad you wrote this Val. This is me down to a 'T'. My family knows I 'like' Twilight but only my sister know the extent that I go to. I planned a whole trip to London around the London Film and Comic Con just so I could catch a glimpse of Peter Facinelli, Justin Chon and Alex Meraz. My Facebook has some Twilight things on it, I don't know what the reaction would be if I just exploded, my friends would probably remove me as a friend from annoying them so much. I have a folder with all my cutouts from magazines and newspapers that I keep hidden deep in my wardrob hoping no one will stumble across it and see truly how addicted I am. When I first log onto the Internet i first check my E-Mails, Facebook, then TA and my TA E-Mail. I don't put credit on my moblie phone and haven't for the past month or so, I just spend it all going on TA on my phone checking if there's any new news.

So thank you Val, it's nice to know I'm not the only one still in the 'closet'.

[LJ Summers]

This is a GREAT article, Val!  You summed up so many of us! lol

[Elise B.]

wonderful article sweet girl! very well done!  hugs and love!!  i already posted a big long response on the actual article so over her let it suffice to say that i am definitely not in a closet, lol!  not even the edward closet.  really i think i am more open about it than i thought i was before, lol i was trying to figure out if there is a line of separation for me between TA and RL, and there isnt much of one, i am fairly balanced between the two and i dont vary much in the different worlds.  either way, thank you for writing this!  you did wonderfully! 

[Eirelav]

It's great to know I'm not all alone in that closet. Thanks so much for sharing your stories!

[ifellhard]

I feel the same way!  My friends and family know that I love Twilight and have read the books several times, but they have NO CLUE as to the extent of my infatuation with the books and everything associated with it.  You are not alone!

[inujo]

:::stands up::::
:::clears throat::::
Hi my name is Cyn and I have a problem! I'm addicted to Twilight.

I keep my addiction a secret by claiming I am just "teasing" my 23 year old son who does a marvelous imitation of fan girls screaming out "EDWARD"
I "tease" him by having said 'Edward' all over my desktop for the world to see..and hidden from the viewing public behind my bedroom door is a wall of the US posters but to not seem totally Ed-centric I have all of them hung there. That one really did start as a gag and it went over so well I just left them there.  It keeps me in check by making me realize how much damn older I am from all of them! Heck I'm older than Bella's dad!
I've turned what could have easily been a fangirl stalker attitude into one of a protective mother. I see what all this craziness is doing to the primary cast members.
Robert Pattinson is a baby doll...emphases on the "baby" part. He clearly has the hardest time dealing with all the fans. My prayers are that they don't take to medicating him sans Heath Ledger. I'm also a Taurus and I can feel a bit for him in that I can take a verbal beat down all day and night but I cringe at a single compliment. You can see him cringe at compliments like they physically hurt him.  

So why keep it in the closet?  I don't want to become the Twilight equivalent to the Star Trek fan that showed up to court dressed for their next assignment on the Enterprise!

Will this keep me from reading the books for the 10th time? No
Will this keep me from going to the midnight showing of New Moon even though I might not be able to hear it over the gasping younger females?  ..maybe?..uh NO.
Will it stop me from counting down the days to the next movie...heck no.
Twilight is MY own special brand of Heroin.

My secret wish is that Robert could realize that he could move outside of LA or the film locations and blend in with the public.  Heck if he moved to Tennessee he wouldn't stand out at all, metrosexual-flannel wearing shower missing wild hair boys are every where.

[resonnant]

:::stands up::::
:::clears throat::::
Hi my name is Cyn and I have a problem! I'm addicted to Twilight.

I keep my addiction a secret by claiming I am just "teasing" my 23 year old son who does a marvelous imitation of fan girls screaming out "EDWARD"
I "tease" him by having said 'Edward' all over my desktop for the world to see..and hidden from the viewing public behind my bedroom door is a wall of the US posters but to not seem totally Ed-centric I have all of them hung there. That one really did start as a gag and it went over so well I just left them there.  It keeps me in check by making me realize how much damn older I am from all of them! Heck I'm older than Bella's dad!
I've turned what could have easily been a fangirl stalker attitude into one of a protective mother. I see what all this craziness is doing to the primary cast members.
Robert Pattinson is a baby doll...emphases on the "baby" part. He clearly has the hardest time dealing with all the fans. My prayers are that they don't take to medicating him sans Heath Ledger. I'm also a Taurus and I can feel a bit for him in that I can take a verbal beat down all day and night but I cringe at a single compliment. You can see him cringe at compliments like they physically hurt him. 

So why keep it in the closet?  I don't want to become the Twilight equivalent to the Star Trek fan that showed up to court dressed for their next assignment on the Enterprise!

Will this keep me from reading the books for the 10th time? No
Will this keep me from going to the midnight showing of New Moon even though I might not be able to hear it over the gasping younger females?  ..maybe?..uh NO.
Will it stop me from counting down the days to the next movie...heck no.
Twilight is MY own special brand of Heroin.

My secret wish is that Robert could realize that he could move outside of LA or the film locations and blend in with the public.  Heck if he moved to Tennessee he wouldn't stand out at all, metrosexual-flannel wearing shower missing wild hair boys are every where.

Wow, that was lovely, heart-felt and humorous. Welcome to the tragically fanatical addiction world. lol

[ifellhard]

:
My secret wish is that Robert could realize that he could move outside of LA or the film locations and blend in with the public.  Heck if he moved to Tennessee he wouldn't stand out at all, metrosexual-flannel wearing shower missing wild hair boys are every where.

So true!  We're very kind and gracious to our stars around here.  We would welcome Rob to Tennessee with open arms!!